Adrift in midlife

Evening goths/freaks/emos/loners but never losers.

Tis been a while. but that's a good thing. sometimes it's better to take yr time .. let things sift inside yr head and not try too hard to find a reason.

It's like I've learnt a little tiny bit more about myself. I enjoy drifting. I enjoy trying to chill out .. I enjoy the finer things. but that doesn't make me a cop out. I'm still the same.. 'rat in a cage'... I'm still the same zero. It's just as u get a bit older, it's hard not to pick up some life skills and well you know, get a bit wiser.

I spent 11 days in france. It was like heading back 40 years. No mobile, no net, no house phone. In the nights I'd sit in the garden and listen to the sound of the owls calling for a mate. Then i'd sip a beer and listen to Arcade fire - The Suburbs. Modern life.. it's hard.. it brings up so many contradictions, but it has its weaknesses. Try not mailing anyone for 11 days. You know what. It's easy. Again no txt's for 11 days. Simple.

I think i just want to drift a bit more. To live a life less ordered. A life of more spontaniety and and less constraints.

Something to consider. yeah.

Sleep tight beautiful people

d x

Everyday has its day

Evening all, goths, punks, freaks, loners but never losers....

Sometimes things don't go to plan. today was one of those days. stuck in a mutha of a traffic jam just to get into Cardiff. nvg. then just kinda got worse.

days like these, you learn to hope 4 better. guess we all have them. i'm having them more and more these days....

what does that mean? 2010 is a bad year. I'm a bad person? Conflicting emotional patterns between self and those I care 'bout. Dunnoh, all i know is that i keep hoping that things will get better. Life would be so much easier with faith, but for those like us without a higher power to guide us through the pavements and sidewalks it's all a matter of try , try try again. Maybe tomorrow I'm gonna paint over the cracks in the pavement....

Cheer up - sunshine..... yeah I know....wallowing in this don't make anyone happier...

listen to the music - it's angry as hell and hey, where there's energy there's hope. www.myspace.com/defianceofgod

D x