Clock go back - railway tracks....

Evening goths/freaks/emos/punks/loners but never losers

It's dark outside. It's been dark for hours. Kelly Jones once sang, 'clocks go back, railway tracks, its' that time of year again'. it's a pointer. One of those blots on the landscape that time our year. B'day. Xmas. Clocks forward, Clocks back, school out, school back, summer holidays. Halloween, bonfire night. yeah, it's a marker. But it's a bit more significant for this significant other. It signals change. Change is a coming. I keep needed to open doors in the house, to leave windows wide open. To turn the heating off. I look at the rain and hope it's sleet. yeah, it's wish fullfillment time. I want it cold. I want to see snow. I want it to sink into my skin and numb the pain. tonight on BBC 2 ray mears heads to Canada. Maybe he's right. maybe McCandless was right. Maybe Jack London Was right. The cold is a harsh and bitter mistress but when she kisses you feel her pull forever.

www.myspace.com/defianceofgod

D x (defiance of god)

What would Bill Murray Do?

Evening goths/freaks/loners/emos/punks but never losers

Life goes on don't it? That's the weird and v annoying thing, no matter how ***ked up yr own life is at any time, the world just carrys on regardless.....You can lie in yr bed crying 4 hours, or sleep in till noon each day, just hoping that things go away, but **it sandwhich. they don't. It's always there when you stumble outta bed and log on. It's hard not to buckle under sometimes - when you want it to go away, and ho hum, it's basically just one long big repeat scene from Groundhog day. Dunnoh. I ask myself, just what would Bill murray do? Reporter....he'd go to bed, wake up and get on with it, in his own way. Therein lies my session i guess.

Clearly the monday blues have gotten me, but that being said, i spend so much time looking for answers, wanting my troubles to go away, or if not go away for good, just pause for a day or two. And there it is, each time I spend days hoping and hoping - it never happens.

Me thinks the positive energys being trapped. I'm spending too much time worrying about **it I can't influence. But then again I spend so much time wishing I was somewhere cold, I dream of snow, I miss the feeling of ice cold breathe and the snap of the my lungs as the ice bites hard. Wasn't there snow and ice on the ground in Groundhog day - yeah there was!

All in all, i've got one weapon. Music as art, art as protector. Not much of a shield - but where's theres hope there's life.

www.myspace.com/defianceofgod

D x

Life is elsewhere no more - it's HERE!

Evening goths/freaks/emos/punks loners but never losers

Quite a hard couple of weeks of late. You may have noticed some changes in the world around you... that being said, I've decided to try and live life to the full, no more angry self loathing myself. Now it's time to make a ***king difference.

Next year I wanna play Swn Festival. Next year we're gonna do a live set on national radio. Next year we're gonna make a difference.

I'm here just the once so I'm gonna do everything I can to make a ***king go of this life. No more procrastination - I think - no more - life is elsewhere (milan kundera)...no ***k that. Life is here, it's here for the taking and here for the living.

Rant over. 3 new songs live - VERY rough demos - but in the spirit of the Sex Pistols, Nirvana, Young Marble Giants, it's up - up to show willing, to show the spark of a fire that never wants to die. www.myspace.com/defianceofgod

D x (defiance of god)

Sadness makes the heart grow older

Evening goths/punks/emos/freaks/loners but never losers.

It's been a shi** couple of weeks. No bull. BAD. On a personal front I'm just not gonna go into it in too much depth but somethings happened two weeks ago that just makes me feel so vulnerable. So small. So incomplete.

I'm welling up just now thinking bout it. Can't express it all too clearly except know I now, suffering is best viewed from the outside - and understand that pain is something that's making me force myself to grow up. When a situation is beyond yr control u feel helpless. All I know is the next few weeks will be bad and then it might just get worse.

Everything was ticking along just swimmingly, we'd done 3 rehearsals for the Cwmaman Music festival and then....freefall. You only know how much family means to you when it's removed. ***K....and ****king ****

Just doing the best I can right now. Listening to mellow music (Noah and whale first days of spring) and just putting 'it' all in boxes. Boxes that I will either choose to keep shut or boxes I will open one day far off in the future.

Speaking of time travel. A year ago last march I met Charlie Fink ...and I have to say within two minutes of him walking into the room I knew he was going 2 be famous. Like Real famous. Glad to know my powers of perception aren't weakening. If anyone can heal a broken heart Charlie can..... the album has some mixed reviews...but if don't make you cry - u ain't never had yr heart broken...

Sadness makes the heart grow older, that's what I say, and this old heart of mine is weary, heavy with memories of love too fleeting and love shared but incomplete. www.myspace.com/defianceofgod

Good luck to all bands and attendees at next weeks Cwmaman Music Festival. See you all next time = play it loud for us!

D x

Due to illness we are forced to cancel our gig at Cwmaman Music Festival

Sorry for this goths/freaks/loners/punks but never losers

Due to unforseen circumstances and ill health we are forced to pull ouf of the Rats In the Cellar gig at Cwmaman Music Festival.

Appologies to all concerned and sincere best wishes to all those taking part.

Best

D x

Twilight - the demo is up now

Evening goths/freaks/emos/loners but never losers

This song went up a few weeks back. Twilight. It's been gathering up a fair slice of interest - just a demo at this stage. But yeah, it's Bella and Edward. No Love in the twilight, all mine in the twilight. Bella do you want it all.

Enjoy.

www.myspace.com/defianceofgod

The Bank Of Defiance Of God

Evening goths/freaks/emos/punks/loner - but never losers....

A very very interesting week. Had our first play of SLAP MY FACE on national Radio. Great comments and feedback from the man himself. Like how cool is that!

Got my work ethic a bit fired up - so hey ho - let's ***king go - wrote 3 more songs this week! Yeah.....well someone's gotta do it.....

In between the creative bursts been reading the papers like a demon - soaking up ideas. Apparently over 50 % of 11 year olds can't read or write! ***king hell. What's up with this country! Are we totally screwed as a nation. Got me thinking. Rock and roll has always been about acting dumb, getting **cked up and acting like a prize twat***.... maybe that's not the way to do it any more. Maybe it should be done purely on a business level? The Bank of Defiance Of God. Now there's a thought. If Northern Rock and Lloyds are so ***ked up Maybe we should just take the Bowie Bonds idea a touch further and use myspace and our Twitter page to just like BEG for money.....on the previsor that when we sell a million discs - you guys our fans - our 'investors' get to be a part of it. Hey - not even just get a return on your interest but hey - take part in the shows, do cameo vocals, play the odd bit of bass, come up with some classy guitar lines.....maybe even, yeah, just be in the band? Logical. Seems a dead cert.

Right - so applications now to fund ourselves - then yourselves. By setting up The Bank of Defiance Of God. Mail me. Or leave a tenner in the doorway of Spillers Records * (Hayes Cardiff).

Love your work - we're all Merchant Bankers/Utter W***kers (choose own preference) www.myspace.com/defianceofgod

Trying to be different

Evening goths/punks/emos/loners and freaks...

don't you think it's harder to be different these days? it's a toughie eh? everyone's alternative - everyone's cutting edge or at least that's the image we try and convey isn't it? So what does that say about ourselves. We're all so cool we could vapourize ice cubes at 50 metres? Or maybe We're all so desperate to out do each other and compete in the i'm so popular stakes... you know the ones....the myspace friend count, facebook pokes.....txts and mails, u know the score. what is it about life in britain right now that makes everyone so DESPERATE TO CONFORM TO B DIFFERENT......

Maybe it's summat else. i was chatting to a friend on tuesday - i said - you don't seem yourself. she said - who is - we're all actors these days. no-one is themselves anymore. being you - that's so 90's.

got me thinking. if this was 1979 would i be a punk, or would i be a square? punks then by all accounts were 1 a 100,000 ...so would i have had the guts to dye my hair green and put safety pins through my nose? dunnoh. maybe it was harder to be different in the past. maybe it was harder to express yrself. but maybe, just maybe it was easier to be happy.....Punks Not Dead!

lol

d x www.myspace.com/defianceofgod

Borders Talbot Green 22nd July 2009 - Everything must go!

Evening goths/freaks/emos/loners

It's been a weird one this last week or two. Maybe cause it's alledgely summer (lol) and maybe cause the kids are out on school break, but dunnoh, thoughts of disconnection and mortality have been foremost in my mind.

Every so often i think about my parents, i think about people i've lost, people who aren't in my life any more, but meant so much to me and when i think too much it hurts. Like really hurts. Like razor blade hurts. Dunnoh. Maybe I've not been channelling the negative energy efficiently enough - letting the bad stuff through again. Dunnoh - maybe it's the lack of sun.

Today i had the weirdest sensation of being old, of being mortal. For some dumb reason I some casual conversations with the staff of Borders in Talbot Green. The place is closing down - i was at the check out and the girl - Maybe a couple of years older than me - was so sad. I could see it as she bagged my books. She didn't want to leave. She was scared - scared of being washed up on the dole. all the staff are being made redundant and she was pretty bitter. 22 and with a first in history - and now - being made unemployed. Where's the hope she said? What's there to look forward to?

when i look up from my desk i see a single solitary star. it is weak, easily missed yet it shines on regardless. it has hope. when hope goes all is lost. www.myspace.com/defianceofgod

D x

The Lives Of others are better than mine.

Afternoon goths/freaks/emos/punks/loners

It's a weird one but what do you do when your life breaks up. What do you do? Ask for help from your friends and family - no? Use myspace - like every other inbred on the planet? Stick an add in the Free Ads - next to 20 Fender Strats for sale - (unlikely ) or put a note up in Spillers (the world's oldest record shop) - (all been done before).

I know I said life - but hey - music is my life, so no I'm not being over dramatic.

Yeah - you're right though - none of them really work - I'm having to call up - so called acquaintances and see if they know anyone who fits the bill. Mmm. Needle in haystack time I guess. It's not that the band's actually broken up - let's just say - some of us are on a break. Steve that is, and yours truely.... I know - I'd never have thought he'd let me down, but he's gone and landed a job in France for the summer. So that means Steve is in Toulouse and i'm in Pontypridd. So maybe it's best to see if a spare guitarist or other might be free.

I'm still in touch with Crazy goth girl Claire. She's a ****ing freak! But I dunnoh, she's got her sweet side. And as for Rugby starlet - he's off to Australia with the Welsh under 21's so all in all D's world is quiet and reflective this summmer.

Been watching some amazing films. Two tips for anyone - The Lives of Others - Stasi era Berlin in 1984 - spying on a playwright. And Morven Collar. what happens when your boyfriend commits suicide but leaves you a blockbuster novel as a good bye note.

Speaking of which - must finish that richie biog. A version of reason. song writing has gone thru the roof. Probably summat down to the fragile state of my mental health and the purchase of a Martin 00018. (don't ask). And on the subject - I'm not a weirdo to post a pix of Patrick Jones on the site - http://www.patrick-jones.net/ he's a honary band member and with two tracks on his CD I guess we're cut from the same cloth

Some great comments on myspace for the band. www.myspace.com/defianceofgod so yeah, find strength in any way you can is my advise.

No matter how broken my body gets they will never take my soul.

D x

Quiet is the new LOUD!

Evening goths

First up - Glasto was great - Metric and Pendulum stole my heart. As for Jackson. Don't mean nuttin to a valley's girl. Apps for the hard nosed un political correctness, but why the ***k should I give a ***t. thank ***k it happend out of term time. That would have been untolerable. Halls was pretty impossible to sleep most nights, so can you imagien what the jocks would have done when That happened. Like no - way!

It's been a long time since we rock and rolled eh? Things have been a bit - static on the Defiance of God front, but hey - www.myspace.com/defianceofgod. Good things come to those who wait. The patrick jones Cd is out. http://www.patrick-jones.net/ and you still can order a copy. OUr tracks are t9 and T14. Both featuring Steve Balsamo on guest vox. There's even a rehersal take of When we become mountains up on that so if you enjoy soft rock. Give it a try.

The big news was the first gig with Steve adding live vocals. If you weren't at Chapter on 31st May - it was ***king awesome. check out the reviews on the many STeve Balsamo fan sites.

Strangely it was kinda charartich (sic?) I'd spent ages writing and recording the tracks and then to get the ***kers played out live to an audience. Well - it was superb.

The good stuff is great - the ***t is still S**ter than ever.

Cardiff is quiet now, Ponty is still sh88y and hey don't do back to ABERDARE......it'll suck the life outta ya!

Love and bites

D x

We came he read poetry we conquered

Evening goths/freaks/emos/punks/loners but never losers.

It was some gig. Defiance of God, Patrick Jones, Steve Balsamo, Lethargy, Martyn Joseph and Stacey Blythe all playing music to accompany Patrick Jones. Venue Chapter - Date 30th may 2009. What can I say - we were ***king awesome. Check out the uploaded videos next week on youtube/myspace. www.myspace.com/defianceofgod or visit patrick at www.patrick-jones.net

I was IIIting myself a tiny bit - especially when it turned out the gig was one hour earlier than i'd expected. 8 pm start not 9pm as I'd thought. Lucky me - I was halfway down Canton highstreet lookin for a cash point!

Ho - hum - shame was - no protesters from Christian voice. So the album got launched, Tongues For a Stammering time is now out there in the public domain. See what you think. Listen, buy, review or rant. Do whatever is best for each of you. Defiance Of God have done their first MK2 live gig and guess what - there's ***t loads more to come.

Defiance is the only way.

D x

Poet set to rock faith to its core - Patrick Jones

Evening freaks - you know i love ya!

It's been a crazy few weeks. Patrick Jones has become one of our closest allies in the fight to control our lives. No matter how broken and battered my body gets they will never control my mind.

I have rehearsed and rehearsed till my ***king fingers are dropping off. Steve Balsamo came round and we jammed in the room, sitting on my sofa! How ***king cool is that. When We become Mountains is extremely beautiful. Enjoy it people. listen and weep. www.myspace.com/defianceofgod

Playing Meat with Patrick Ranting over the top was an extremely rewarding experience. Here's a snap taken by yours truly at solar studios last saturday - the hottest day of the year. It was a great session the track is AWESOME . It's gonna take the ***king roof off chapter this Saturday. Come on down and provoke a thought riot. Christian Voice are bound to be there! OmG. ***king hell here come the police!

Martyn Joseph, Amy Wadge, Lethargy, Les Davies, Steve Balsamo - all rockin out to crazy pat's awesome words. What could be better.

Live it, love it or hate it. Whatever you want, just be there.

Steve Balsamo, Martyn Joseph and Defiance of god Live!

Hey Freaks/punks/all you good good people

This is it. We Defiance Of God are in a go-go live situation. The launch gig for the Patrick Jones CD - Tongues For a Stammering Time is this Saturday night at Chapter Arts Centre Cardiff. Preview the songs at

www.myspace.com/defianceofgod

Also playing Live will be Amy Wadge, Lethargy, Stacey blythe and the great welsh ranting poet Patrick Jones. The album is out now, Pat launched it at Hay On Wye Literature Festival on Monday. Good article in the South Wales Echo yesterday. The album features contributions from Nicky Wire James Dean Bradfield and former squeezebox frontman Les Davies as producer - LSD Highs.

To purchase a copy go to http://www.patrick-jones.net/ also find details of the chapter gig - Tickets are 6/8 or 10 quid. I wonder if there's gonna be a big Christian Voice boycott/protest like the last couple of Patrick's gigs. Bring it on ***kers.

Defiance of God have two songs on the CD - T 9 - Meat and T 14 - When We Become Mountains. Both feature the haunting voice of close friend Steve Balsamo on vocals.

This is it Freaks - the conquest of your country has begun. No matter how broken and battered our bodies get they will never take our souls. Sometimes as the saying goes, 'defiance is the only way'. Two major rehearsals down - one acoustic with Steve Balsamo and the other a monsterous rock behemoth with the full band just go to show - Talent will OUT! ***k you!

See you on Saturday Night - 9 pm Chapter. 30th may 2009

Skateboard 1 D x Nil. Patrick Jones CD 2

Evening goths/emos/freaks/punks

It's been a week and then some. First life lesson - under no circumstances skateboard too fast down a hill outside Pontypridd if you've never been there before. I crashed and burned. Bailed out and landed in the mud/grass/bushes. ***k me it hurt. Couldn't breathe for about 30 seconds, thought I was gonna die! Sadly I didn't but I did spend 4 hours in Casualty. Not a pretty sight. Hair like a dead dog, clothes covered in mud and pride - let's just say left behind. Still have intense pains down the right side of my body. No bones broken, put my muscles so say the dr are in spasm. So the good news, 3 set of drugs in cluding Tamazipan - which make you as high as a kitE!!!

The good stuff. Seen the artwork for the patrick Jones CD - two tracks confirmed, Meat and When We become mountains. Guest slots from LSD highs - producer and Steve Balsamo - The Storys. Cd is out on 25th May. there's a gig at Chapter Arts centre on 30th may so that promisess to b be fun.

http://www.myspace.com/patrickjoneswriter for the link to the CD sleeve and all Pat's great words.

Couple more offers of gigs - No State Radio and Henrys Funeral Shoe - so with any luck the God will conquer the earth by November.

lol

D x

Kicked in doors, smashed up cars, knives hoodies, ugly scars!

Greetings goth/punks/emos/loners/creatives/cool types

I've been as they say busy. No more stoopid self pity wallowing in my ***s stains..... I'm doing what I need to do.

Craig - he can just ***k off. No more abuse from that ***ker. Claire - well her text's have gotten a bit milder. No more references to Nine Inch Nails and Joy division. So yeah. I'm happy on the personal level. And btw thanks for asking.

On the music front. Huge news. Slap My Face is Live! With Vocals! yeah! Honest. Also had some news on the collaboration front. Scottish Band Pure Dead Good have been in touch about doing a mix/mash up. They're great. Really angry punk rock engery.

Been listening more to the mighty Rod Thomas - his music is sublime. Pop and paegentry in the same musical world. Love it. And he won best Ukele video of the year! What a guy!

And the mighty Patrick Jones called up - he says there's the chance of a Gig at Hay On Wye! Can you believe it!

Meanwhile it's all gone a bit quite with the UNI. They still have 'issue's' but for the time being at least no one is playing their cards. MMMM.mmmm.

Drop by the myspace for me - www.myspace.com/defianceofgod or of course the lovely Rod

www.myspace.com/rodthomasmusic and while there hit the great scots

www.myspace.com/puredeadbrilliantuk you know it makes sense!

Love and yeah - I do bite for anyone who's enjoyed the track

D x

Fine white powder is uncool. It ***ks you up!

Afternoon snowbound goths/freaks/emos/punks..

Being a goth in the snow is not fun. My mascara has frozen and I can not for the life of **d get my crimpers to improve my hair. Fizzy, fuzzy mess in the frozen snow....straight or even remotely crimped waves of wonder - this girl does not possess. www.myspace.com/defianceofgod

Can't go out. Can't go shopping, can't get to a practise, can only sit here and wonder what the rest of the civilised world is up to. Claire has been in touch. Another one of her semi threatening txts. This one was a list of songs and bands. Dead Kennedys - Holiday in Cambodia. Joy Division Dead souls. Dead or Alive - You spin me round......you gettit? Yeah. Like a hole in the f***king head!

Craig is snowbound in Brecon - apparently doing some yomp up Pen Y Fan in the minus twenty snowstorm.

Aaaagh. Can't do the remixes up at LSD High's in Abercynon - under two foot of snow! AAAAGGGh.

Like I said - snow is uncool. It's very very un-rock and roll - fine white powder that ***ks up your life.......just like well you know what....

D x

Best new act of the year - fact - Rod Thomas

Hey Goths - I'm gonna surprise you all....

I know it's not coool to brag about someone else on your own blog, but hey. Last night, I was feeling low. I mean real ***king low. I'd had a major bust up (again) with the UNI, they're so dead set on expelling me....so anyway - I'd drunk a quarter bottle Smirnoff and I was dozing on my bed....radio on low....

OMG - was I dreaming this or what. I heard the best Radio session ever - there was guy on called Rod Thomas - doing what I can only describe as one man band, New Folk Disco ....not exactly conventional, but the guy had the most heartfelt wonderous songs, I've ever heard. Went straight to his myspace site. www.myspace.com/rodthomasmusic he's awesome, Welsh too, from Neath? And just back from LA working with Boom Bip (Neon Neon).

Dunnoh, his music just made me wanna cry and laugh at the same time. Just do yourself a favour and listen to his tracks. He's got a new album out, Until Something Fits. It's awesome.

My own life is ***t, but it's kinda Nice to know others are gonna be huge and successful - even if i don't ever make it. You know the URL. www.myspace.com/defianceofgod

Enjoy the find of hte year, Rod thomas.

D x

Blue Monday

Welcome aboard goths/loners/emos/punks and all

It's a good ship that knows the safe harbours, and a wise captain who knows when to run for home. I'm running and I'm running scared.

Life has become a little too unpleaseant. Not getting on at home, band fragmenting, stalker in the States - Claire and stalker here - Craig. What am I doing wrong? Am I just a magnet for weird sh** and ***ked up loons? Or as they say is there somehting else? Is it me? Am I the cause of this complete and utter weirdness? Dunnoh. Just being alive makes me paranoid? So what does that say about me? Maybe somehting happ3ened in the past, somehting bad just happened and I got caught up in it? Something sinister, someting nasty....maybe my imagination is running away with me? Dunnoh. All I know is my nan is ill and that's making me worried. She's been my surrogate parents since the divorce and hey, without Hilda nothing would be the way it is, She bought me my first guitar! I mean how cool is that! So yeah, I keep hearing on teh raido that today is Blue Monday - the most miserable day of the year. Andy you know what. I kinda agree. Yeah. I really do.

Lots of offers to collaborate through on www.myspace.com/defianceofgod so we'll see. I also had a note from Patrick Jones about collaborations on his new CD. I'm hearing some weird rumours about big stars. Honest. Being on the same record. Billy Bragg. Martyn Joseph. Amy Wadge. Henry Priestman and me - yeah, Defiance of God.

Let's just hope blue monday becomes sunny tuesday. Eh.

D x

Slap My Face - lyric for you to use!

Hello peeps D's here and all is good in gothworld.

Slap my face - This is it. Below are the lyrics 4 you to use with the backing track. Just do anything however crazy you want and mail it to me via myspace or Defianceofgod@yahoo.co.uk

The music is online and accessible via

www.myspace.com/defianceofgod

I'm gonna host the best six through Jan/feb/march 09 - tell all your friends this is your chance to make it - if you're in a band - this is 4 you. Goth Factor/Emo Factor/Punk Factor the real X factor

Slap My Face - Lyrics - Copyright D x (Defiance Of God)

You don't wanna talk - you just wanna kiss

no time 4 luv in the city, 4 a girl 2 miss

undress me in your mind - you stoopid fucker
your gonna have 2 pay if you wanna fuck - her

I'm not the one - you're gonna regret

I'm the one - you're gonna want next

Kicked in doors and smashed up cars

knives, hoodies, ugly scars

txt me l8r - film my mate

slap my face - u mess with fate

don't cum too close - u sick - I might just bite

I'm yr worst bad dream - straight outta the night

u waste my precious time, and steal me clothes

I'm not yr easy lay - going comatose

I'm not the one youre gonna regret

I'm the one you're gonna want next

Kicked in doors, smashed up cars

knives hoodies, ugly scars

txt me l8r - you can film my mate

slap my face - u mess with fate

Fed up - with all your stupid pointless stares

nothing u can say or do - gonna make we wear flares

undress me i your mind you shallow sucker

your gonna waste yr time if you wanna fuck-her

I'm not the one you're gonna regret

I'm the one - you're gonna want next

Kicked in door, burnt out cars

knives, hoodies, ugly scars

txt me l8r - film my mate

slap my face - you mess with FATE!

Share and enjoy

D x