Defiance of God confirmed for Patrick Jones CD

Gothworld is still and almost silent.

The halls are quiet and I have returned to my nan in Pontypridd. It's a mix of comforting familiar and sickening commerial horrors, but frankly at least I'm not in that hell hole of Uni. The last week was unbearable. I managed to avoid Rob my tutor for the entire week, doing all the work he's asigned to me. It's the only way at moment. Keep my head down, keep myself on my course and hope that sanity returns in the New Year and then, maybe I'll be able to keep the band going and stay doing my degree.

I've had some interesting news. Patrick Jones has agreed that Defiance Of God will appear on his new CD. Yeah. How cool is that! We're gonna do a track or even two on his new record. I'm sure this is gonna cause a ***t storm in the new Year since he's the one everyone is trying to ban, but most agressively Christian Voice are after his blood. Given our name - Defiance of God, well I'd guess the X Voice barmy army are gonna blow their load so to speak... www.myspace.com/defianceofgod

Anyway. I did get a card from Steve. And two texts from Ade and Mark. So maybe the God will get their ass together for 2009. Myspace has the lastest intstrumental - Good Dream Bad Day so who knows we might must up some interest.


I'm gonna post till Tuesday and then as befits all rock stars - I'm gonna have a day or two off. Eat turkey, watch nan and grand-dad stuff their way through Turkey sarnies and if my mood lifts, I'm gonna cook some Turkey Curry! How rock and roll is that!

Craig gave me a present. Some lovely perfume - he's headed back to Surry for Xmas with his Stepdad - seems we've got a fair bit in common after all. Dunnoh - he's still the one ***k I regret from this year.

D x

Good dream - bad day - new song on myspace!

A long long time ago I remember I was a child and Christmas was the most wonderful time of the year - it was like the best party you've ever been to, except everything was free and no one puked on your clothes.

Now I walk the earth cold and weary like an ancient statue. The party's over and the puke's frozen on the pavement.

Where did the joy go? Where did my band go? I dunnoh.

I found a copy of a demo I made for Steve. It makes me think of him and all the great times we had with the band - Good Dream - Bad Day. I took the vocals off cause they made me cry. www.myspace.com/defianceofgod It's kind of like Eddie Vedder stuff from Into The Wild soundtrack - (I love that record..)

Enjoy this while it lasts. The track is live on myspace. Oh and there's something else. I've got a secret for you all. But someone needs to ask me what it is. If I do hear that request I shall share the good news.

D x

The Moon is a harsh mistress

Gothworld is in crisis. It's all gone wrong. I used to have a band - now I just have unfinished demos and a myspace site. www.myspace.com/defianceofgod

The moon is apparently larger in the sky tonight than it has been any time in my lifetime. Clearly it's a full moon. (If only I could see it through the rain) And we all know what a full moon does to the fairer and stronger sex. It's been waxing (growing) for the last week and for the last week I haven't slept more than three hours per night.

Maybe that's why my life is falling apart. Maybe it's the moon. It's ***ked up my Uni, it's fu**ed up my band and now - the tidal forces are pulling my muscles apart.

Dunnoh. All I know is if this gets any worse there's no scope for escape. Had the worse text of my life today. Steve - he says forsayers of doom are through to the 1st round of Orange Unsigned 2009. ***ker. ***t. He was my best friend and partner in rock and roll domination. Now he's a traitor. But what does that make me. A witch? A saint, a sinner condemned to rock and roll damnation......

Am gonna drink myself to sleep one more time. I don't feel so much sorry for myself as numb, just unable to feel any more. Dunnoh. Pour me another Jack Daniels fine sir!

D x

Band on the Run? Poet on the pyre!

Goth world is a bad place......jingle bells my ****

Steve's gone awol. Mark and Ade don't wanna bother. Looks like the band's into a forced period of rest. www.myspace.com/defianceofgod

Feel dumb. Feel numb. Feel blind. Feel Deaf. Feel sick. Feel like an empty chest with all my treasures thrown to the four corners of the winds.

Guess I've been hoping for a change. A change of spirit. I want to see things differently. To believe in the power of good.

But no matter how hard I look - I'm just not seeing any proof. Or am I? Patrick Jones has been on the TV today. Seems like Christian voice were hounding him out of yet another reading at Borders in Cardiff. Shame since from the mails he's sent me - looks like Defiance Of God have an open invite to appear on a CD he's making. But all the ***t he's getting - through Poetry. I mean - come ON! What's going on in the world? Seems like no-one wants to hear the truth any more. Just a sanitised consumer safe version that certainly won't offend anyone, but means, and I mean means Sweet NOTHING>

D x

SLAP MY FACE! - IT'S HERE

First song - live on myspace. Also on the profile of this page

http://www.defianceofgod.blogspot.com/

www.myspace.com/defianceofgod

First extract of Slap My Face - minus vox is live. I'm re-doing the vox next week at LSD heights. So it's gonna be mega. Real Nirvana punk rock.

See what you think!

D x

The Alarm - Rock Out!

This is getting way out of hand.


Tried to speak to Steve - he didn't answer any of my calls.


All is not good in gothworld. www.myspace.com/defianceofgod


Strange how things you think are ss***** are actually good. the Alarm. yeah - big hair in the 80's - Welsh u2 copyists. Ade lent me their new cd - Guerrila Tactics - AWESOME. Pure punk rock - like Nirvana and Sex pistols. Strange - I grew up in Wales and this is the first Alarm Record I've every heard! apparently they're doing a gig in Cardiff this thursday, At The Point. Who knows, maybe I'll go. Getting into this networking thing - with Patrick Jones etc.

D x

Christian Voice - Nazis for the Naughties!

S***. Another crap day I can't hear, taste or smell anything and it's a pretty shi**y sunday.

Cancelled band practise for tonight. Trying to Sing would be like learning to levitate.

One positive note. I was angry at the whole censorship row that I fired off a couple of lines to Patrick Jones on myspace - he's a really cool guy and so sensitive. Why are these ***ts at Christian Voice trying to ban him? Is it because they fear the truth? Anyway - seems like Pat and yours truly have similar tastes in music. I'm gonna stay in touch with him and who knows maybe Defiance of God will collaborate, or perhaps support him in some way.

D x

Chinese Democracy - Patrick Jones

Gonna dive right in with some weird ***t. Read a book yesterday - Fuse - by a Welsh poet, playwright, Patrick Jones - there's a connection to Manic Street Preachers - Patrick is Nicky Wire's brother and sometime collaborator with the manics. His writing - Patrick's was really angry very now and highly polemic. Just like my own in Defiance of God. www.myspace.com/defianceofgod

Anyway - today I hear via the web that this guy - Patrick Jones was scheduled to do a reading of his new book at Waterstones in Cardiff and it's cancelled - cause some right wing Christian fundamentalists had objected to the subject matter. Anti War - pro life - anti religion. Like are we living in Berlin 39 or what. Freedom of Speech - it's gone. He's a writer a poet a playwright, surely his mission is to enlighten and inform - and this is Wales - not the mid West of American. The Hayes in Cardiff, Waterstones - where Bill Bryson and Terry Pratchet have signed copies of their books. It's madness - a Welsh creative mind censored by the religous right wing! Dunnoh. I just lose any faith in humanity when stuff like this happens.

Guns N Roses are about to return with Chinese Democracy their first new disc in 15 years - looks like we have a chinese democrary here in Wales.

D x

Avoiding people is Easy

It's easy to do when you have to - avoiding someone. Never really practised it till today.

Simple life skills they never teach you at school. Ducking in doorways, peering round corners, switching your phone off - all day.

Do I regret it - like of course I do - would I do it again - NEVER.

Made my mind up already - not gonna drop out - gonna do the songs tonight and see what happens. Really excited about Twilight Song. Fate will decide the future for the band.

www.myspace.com/defianceofgod

Gotta Go - steve is picking me up at 7 pm. for Abercynon.

D x

SONGS ARE COMING!

Hey - everyone. I can just about type - too much Smirnoff - but the songs will be here SOON. www.myspace.com/defianceofgod

Session is confirmed at LSD Highs in Pontypridd this Monday! check out his myspace. He's cool and cute. Defiance of God are gonna do.

Twilight Song.

Slap My Face.

Ambition Bunker.

D x

Castle Coch - Perfect for Twilight Song Video

Today was a me day. A day to look inwards, a day to keep myself sane, to focus away from the pressures of Uni and sideways, away from the troubles of being in a band. Mostly I think it worked. I did something special. Something cultural, yet romantic. For someone who's spent an entire adult life in Wales I did something I've never done b4. Castell Coch - a Disney esque castle just outside Cardiff. Steve took me - he said it was a treat 4 me. Something to take my mind of all the super-normal spookieness that's been happening. It was amazing. So BIG. Like a gothic fantasy - even saw the bedrooms and the kitchen where the lords and ladies would have lived. The history was a bit lost on my but the OTT architecture and the dungeon's well let's just say it got me Thinking.

I know I was supposed to have a day off - not thinking about work - If we needed a locaiton for a video - for Twilight song -this is it. 100%. Steve even did some test shots on his phone will upload those later. www.myspace.com/defianceofgod

Keeping my head together is hard these days. Stuff just don't seem to go the way I'd like it. It's week 4 tomorrow. I know I said I'd give it two more weeks, well the clock has ticked on and that leaves just one week to go. I'm gonna stick with that. By the end of this week I'll have deceided whether to stay, or to Go. ***k it. I'm gonna go with my gut feeling. Should I stay or should I go?

D x

Supernatural Sh** Supertastic Song

Dunnoh what to make of this but I've had one of those road to damascus moments. Like it's taken a day but I've figured it. We played Twilight Song in our halls in rehersal and the power went down. Then last night it was 3rd in our set and BAAAMMMMM! The whole house goes dark the moment I hit the opening Chord.

I know it was Halloween like - I know weird stuff's supposed to happen, but not to me. I'm a normal (ish) girl - I'm not possessed, I'm not off my head, barking like a hound at the moon. I'm just a bit quiet, a bit cute and a bit lacking in confidence. So WHAT the ***k is it about this freaking song. OK I stole the name after the Stephenie Meyers Book - but yo sisters - I'm not signing up on this Supernatural hokum &&&king pokum.

Mm. Me thinks too many horror movies, too much American cultural references and maybe not enough me. does that figure. Where's the real D x gone? dunnoh. &&*k - Been drinking again. Vodka Red Bull's x 5 - off my tiny little face. hey ho. Don't think there's gonna be a band practise t/m. Studio is booked for thurs - LSD's place in Abercynon. Cool as.

Gotta go. Someone's knocking - NO PUNCHING MY F***king door!

D x

Fashion tips for Goths

I'm a bit of a sucker when it comes to making do and mending. Not a bad thing I hear you cry, and bit of a necessity when your parents have split and you're failing to achieve... But I digress.

So when Mr Gok decides to dole out the fashion tips, I'm there. Look! I know there's an issue being an emo/goth and wanting to look fashionable, but honest, like omg. I'm not a freak, I do want to try and attract friends - I don't wanna sit in the corner every night and be suzie sad/billy no mates.

C'mon. Let it out. Anger is an energy. I should have left for band practise, but ho-hum, I didn't. ***k em. I write the songs, I have the contacts, if it wasn't for me this band would be nothing.

www.myspace.com/defianceofgod

And one more time with feeling. Drown me in the River Taff if you like but I've burnt my bible when learnt to lie.

D x

Dead Set - Dead Sh**

It's easy to mock the afflicted, likewise it's easy to knock something when you're supposedly in the business yourself. But come on. Was that for real. 4 Real? Aaaagh. I nver have and nver will get Zombie Films. Does that make me sad? Does that make me clever? Dunnoh. But lke omg, no way am I sitting through that again.

Steve came round. We nailed, Twilight Song. Its gonna rock. Started to leave posts on Twilighters.org the fan web site to make sure they get it when it goes live.

Actually enjoyed a lecture today. And - omg I enjoyed editing. They gave us some rushes that we fooled around with - I did some nice tricky stuff, very professional.

Tongiht we've supposedly got another rehearsal. Mark is still givng it shi** about the problems of doing a gig at his house. So what Marky Mark - Get a new house or ship in the Zombies. Eh?

D x

Twilight Song All but finished

It wasn't 2 am but 1 am when the dorks came back and woke me up. So much for GMT eh? I'm a pretty passive person, but next time, and there will no doubt be a next time, I promise I will reek my revenge. If my lack of social life means I have to stay in on a Saturday night, then fine, I'm a freak, but that doesnt' mean I HAVE to be woken up and reminded how empty my life is now do I?

Mm. It's dark outside. Already. Not good - and the shops are full of Christmas gifts and wrapping paper. So ***king sad. So damN miserable or what. I don't see no credit crunch, well at least not in Next Or M&S Culver. Saw a cute new Nokia - will probably buy it using my credit card so credit crunch I don't see one.

Twilight Song is all but finished. Only decision is whether to be Edward or Bella when I sing it. It's gonna get some great hits on the net. Our myspace will go ballistic. www.myspace.com/defianceofgod

D x