Trying to be different

Evening goths/punks/emos/loners and freaks...

don't you think it's harder to be different these days? it's a toughie eh? everyone's alternative - everyone's cutting edge or at least that's the image we try and convey isn't it? So what does that say about ourselves. We're all so cool we could vapourize ice cubes at 50 metres? Or maybe We're all so desperate to out do each other and compete in the i'm so popular stakes... you know the ones....the myspace friend count, facebook pokes.....txts and mails, u know the score. what is it about life in britain right now that makes everyone so DESPERATE TO CONFORM TO B DIFFERENT......

Maybe it's summat else. i was chatting to a friend on tuesday - i said - you don't seem yourself. she said - who is - we're all actors these days. no-one is themselves anymore. being you - that's so 90's.

got me thinking. if this was 1979 would i be a punk, or would i be a square? punks then by all accounts were 1 a 100,000 ...so would i have had the guts to dye my hair green and put safety pins through my nose? dunnoh. maybe it was harder to be different in the past. maybe it was harder to express yrself. but maybe, just maybe it was easier to be happy.....Punks Not Dead!

lol

d x www.myspace.com/defianceofgod

Borders Talbot Green 22nd July 2009 - Everything must go!

Evening goths/freaks/emos/loners

It's been a weird one this last week or two. Maybe cause it's alledgely summer (lol) and maybe cause the kids are out on school break, but dunnoh, thoughts of disconnection and mortality have been foremost in my mind.

Every so often i think about my parents, i think about people i've lost, people who aren't in my life any more, but meant so much to me and when i think too much it hurts. Like really hurts. Like razor blade hurts. Dunnoh. Maybe I've not been channelling the negative energy efficiently enough - letting the bad stuff through again. Dunnoh - maybe it's the lack of sun.

Today i had the weirdest sensation of being old, of being mortal. For some dumb reason I some casual conversations with the staff of Borders in Talbot Green. The place is closing down - i was at the check out and the girl - Maybe a couple of years older than me - was so sad. I could see it as she bagged my books. She didn't want to leave. She was scared - scared of being washed up on the dole. all the staff are being made redundant and she was pretty bitter. 22 and with a first in history - and now - being made unemployed. Where's the hope she said? What's there to look forward to?

when i look up from my desk i see a single solitary star. it is weak, easily missed yet it shines on regardless. it has hope. when hope goes all is lost. www.myspace.com/defianceofgod

D x

The Lives Of others are better than mine.

Afternoon goths/freaks/emos/punks/loners

It's a weird one but what do you do when your life breaks up. What do you do? Ask for help from your friends and family - no? Use myspace - like every other inbred on the planet? Stick an add in the Free Ads - next to 20 Fender Strats for sale - (unlikely ) or put a note up in Spillers (the world's oldest record shop) - (all been done before).

I know I said life - but hey - music is my life, so no I'm not being over dramatic.

Yeah - you're right though - none of them really work - I'm having to call up - so called acquaintances and see if they know anyone who fits the bill. Mmm. Needle in haystack time I guess. It's not that the band's actually broken up - let's just say - some of us are on a break. Steve that is, and yours truely.... I know - I'd never have thought he'd let me down, but he's gone and landed a job in France for the summer. So that means Steve is in Toulouse and i'm in Pontypridd. So maybe it's best to see if a spare guitarist or other might be free.

I'm still in touch with Crazy goth girl Claire. She's a ****ing freak! But I dunnoh, she's got her sweet side. And as for Rugby starlet - he's off to Australia with the Welsh under 21's so all in all D's world is quiet and reflective this summmer.

Been watching some amazing films. Two tips for anyone - The Lives of Others - Stasi era Berlin in 1984 - spying on a playwright. And Morven Collar. what happens when your boyfriend commits suicide but leaves you a blockbuster novel as a good bye note.

Speaking of which - must finish that richie biog. A version of reason. song writing has gone thru the roof. Probably summat down to the fragile state of my mental health and the purchase of a Martin 00018. (don't ask). And on the subject - I'm not a weirdo to post a pix of Patrick Jones on the site - http://www.patrick-jones.net/ he's a honary band member and with two tracks on his CD I guess we're cut from the same cloth

Some great comments on myspace for the band. www.myspace.com/defianceofgod so yeah, find strength in any way you can is my advise.

No matter how broken my body gets they will never take my soul.

D x

Quiet is the new LOUD!

Evening goths

First up - Glasto was great - Metric and Pendulum stole my heart. As for Jackson. Don't mean nuttin to a valley's girl. Apps for the hard nosed un political correctness, but why the ***k should I give a ***t. thank ***k it happend out of term time. That would have been untolerable. Halls was pretty impossible to sleep most nights, so can you imagien what the jocks would have done when That happened. Like no - way!

It's been a long time since we rock and rolled eh? Things have been a bit - static on the Defiance of God front, but hey - www.myspace.com/defianceofgod. Good things come to those who wait. The patrick jones Cd is out. http://www.patrick-jones.net/ and you still can order a copy. OUr tracks are t9 and T14. Both featuring Steve Balsamo on guest vox. There's even a rehersal take of When we become mountains up on that so if you enjoy soft rock. Give it a try.

The big news was the first gig with Steve adding live vocals. If you weren't at Chapter on 31st May - it was ***king awesome. check out the reviews on the many STeve Balsamo fan sites.

Strangely it was kinda charartich (sic?) I'd spent ages writing and recording the tracks and then to get the ***kers played out live to an audience. Well - it was superb.

The good stuff is great - the ***t is still S**ter than ever.

Cardiff is quiet now, Ponty is still sh88y and hey don't do back to ABERDARE......it'll suck the life outta ya!

Love and bites

D x