Borders Talbot Green 22nd July 2009 - Everything must go!

Evening goths/freaks/emos/loners

It's been a weird one this last week or two. Maybe cause it's alledgely summer (lol) and maybe cause the kids are out on school break, but dunnoh, thoughts of disconnection and mortality have been foremost in my mind.

Every so often i think about my parents, i think about people i've lost, people who aren't in my life any more, but meant so much to me and when i think too much it hurts. Like really hurts. Like razor blade hurts. Dunnoh. Maybe I've not been channelling the negative energy efficiently enough - letting the bad stuff through again. Dunnoh - maybe it's the lack of sun.

Today i had the weirdest sensation of being old, of being mortal. For some dumb reason I some casual conversations with the staff of Borders in Talbot Green. The place is closing down - i was at the check out and the girl - Maybe a couple of years older than me - was so sad. I could see it as she bagged my books. She didn't want to leave. She was scared - scared of being washed up on the dole. all the staff are being made redundant and she was pretty bitter. 22 and with a first in history - and now - being made unemployed. Where's the hope she said? What's there to look forward to?

when i look up from my desk i see a single solitary star. it is weak, easily missed yet it shines on regardless. it has hope. when hope goes all is lost. www.myspace.com/defianceofgod

D x